Well, this is a rather darker take on Pokemon .-.

Very well written though! I applaud your attention to detail, though I feel you could've been more creative in places, such as "... more for enjoying the metallic taste of it than to clean him." The reader could've assumed this themselves. Perhaps "... relishing the metallic taste" or "... savouring the tinge of iron on his tongue" ??

Your use of dialogue is lovely. I was thoroughly gripped by this story! Same advice really from the last piece of yours I've critiqued.

Anyway, I'll be slotting this work into the Featured folder